Parenting Plans After Addiction Recovery

After successfully completing an addiction treatment program and/or maintaining recovery, working out a parenting plan with your child’s other parent may be in your best interest. Although you may have struggled to cope with substance abuse, achieving and maintaining recovery and starting to rebuild your life can involve taking on more parenting responsibilities and rebuilding trust with not only your children but your whole family.

Working with a compassionate child custody attorney from Chambers Family Law can help you protect your rights and maintain your relationships while you focus on recovery and leaning even more deeply into your role as an active, present, and participating parent in your child’s . Here is more about parenting plans after addiction recovery and how you can build a brighter future for yourself and your children.

The Impact of Addiction on Family Relationships

Addiction can have a powerful impact on family dynamics. While struggling with your substance use disorder (SUD), the trust between you and your children may have been lost. Children may have had to take on much more responsibility than was appropriate for their age, creating a divide in your relationship with them. However, now that you are in recovery, you can focus on rebuilding these relationships.

Do not expect trust to be rebuilt overnight. This will be a gradual process. Your children may be hesitant to open up and unwilling to let you reassume your parenting responsibilities. It is important to be patient with your children during this time. Though your addiction may have disrupted your family routine, communication, rules, finances, and attachment to your children, through recovery there is hope.

By recognizing the impact your SUD has had on not only you, but also your family, you can begin to put the chaos, secrecy, conflict, fear, shame, guilt, and role reversal behind you. While it may take some time for your children to acclimate, with your patience, you can reestablish their trust and have the relationships you always wanted with them.

Creating a Structured Parenting Plan

When you are reconnecting with your children and starting to play a more active role in their upbringing, consistency is key. If your children have grown up with you coming in and out of their lives, they may feel unstable. The parenting plan you create with your child’s other parent should be reliable and help your children feel secure.

It will be important to discuss your anticipated parenting schedule. Even if your child’s other parent is the primary custodial parent, you can still have custodial rights and parenting time. It will be our goal to work together to set up a parenting schedule that allows you to maintain a strong relationship with your children, spend quality time with them, and set up a regular routine. This way, your children can feel more secure in your relationship and allow you to start rebuilding trust.

However, it is also important to ensure we address the issues and concerns raised by the not addicted parent if you suffer a relapse. We also need to consider your recovery and treatment program, whether that includes group therapy, treatment sessions, doctors’ appointments, AA meetings or other forms of recovery, when crafting our parenting plan. We want to write up a plan that ensures your children maintain the stability you have built up while you maintain recovery. Remember, your recovery must come first, because without that, the rest will fall apart again.

Rebuilding Trust with Consistency

One of the most important ways to rebuild your relationship with your children when in active recovery is by focusing on consistency and trust. Your children may be used to you failing to show up at sports events or performances, or call them regularly, or spend quality time with them. By creating achievable goals, you can show your children that you are going to be following through on your promises from now on and can be trusted and reliable.

Repairing your relationship with your children will take some time. You should not expect your children to open up to you and feel comfortable in the relationship immediately after you begin to focus on your sobriety. While regularly checking in with your children and showing up for them when they expect you to is crucial, it is also important to make amends.

Depending on how old your children were while you were in active addiction and your behavior during that time, they may remember more than you expected. Although there may have been significant damage to your relationship, you can work to try and rebuild and to make up for it by being honest and remaining consistent in your recovery.

Open Communication and Emotional Support

Keeping an open line of communication with your child’s other parent, especially if you have gone through a difficult divorce, will be necessary as you start to focus on your new parenting plan during addiction recovery. You should be prepared to speak openly with your child’s other parent and to maintain regular and consistent communication with your children. You do not want to let being at odds with your child’s other parent prevent you from creating a safe space for your children.

Your children may have many unanswered questions about what they witnessed and experienced during your active addiction and while you were at your lowest point. It will be difficult, but (when age appropriate) you should be willing to talk with your children in an age-appropriate way. You need to allow them the opportunity to express their feelings while reassuring them that you are going to be more consistent and a healthier version of yourself. This will help you rebuild your relationship stronger than it has ever been.

Your children may express that their feelings have been hurt, that they do not trust you, or remind you of how your past actions have affected their lives. By being open and honest and helping them understand that addiction is a disease and that you are 100% committed to your long-term recovery, but still acknowledging their feelings, you can foster healthy communication and emotional support. This will help your family see that you are serious about your sobriety and fully committed to long term recovery.

Support Systems and Professional Help

Whether or not you completed an inpatient treatment program, it is very important to maintain a strong  recovery support system and to ensure you have a solid professional and/or recovery network as you re-acclimate back to life. It may be in your best interest, and that of your children, for you to continue with ongoing therapy. This way, you can work with a family therapist or counselor to discuss how you are feeling, process how your children are feeling, and to promote healthy communications with your children.

You may even want to enter family counseling with your child to help work through any unresolved points of contention from when you were still struggling with your addiction. Here are some of the top ways you can build up a powerful support system and get the professional help you need while you are working on your recovery and rebuilding your relationships with your children:

• Do not be afraid to ask for help – If you find yourself triggered, or backsliding, or approaching a relapse, ASK FOR HELP! Whether that is contacting your AA Sponsor, or your therapist, or working with medical professionals, or close family members, do what you need to ensure that you get the support you need to prevent a relapse and to help you maintain sobriety and recovery. It is not uncommon for people dealing with SUD to find themselves struggling with relapse. Seeking the help you need and taking advantage of your available resources is imperative and shows the progress you have made in being aware of the disease of addiction and acknowledging your powerlessness to substances.
• Reevaluate who you surround yourself with -. The people you choose to be around should have a positive impact on and support your recovery, not the opposite. Do not feel any guilt for no longer associating with people who were part of your past active addiction or who may not encourage or respect your recovery, or who may trigger a relapse; because eliminating may have facilitated or encouraged your addiction, removing those people, places, and things from your life is the only way to truly recover.
• Consistently attending recovery support meetings!!! Remaining positive and patient will go a long way as you work to rebuild your relationships with your children and family and take on more of your parenting responsibilities. Although challenging at times, recovery is always the right and only choice. By commitment to your treatment plan and recovery program and relying on your support system you can avoid addiction from destroying your life.

Consult a Reputable Child Custody Lawyer for Help Building Your Parenting Plan After Addiction Recovery

Maintaining long term recovery is a lifelong commitment and process that may require daily work.  However, we all need to start somewhere. Commitment to recovery is your opportunity to embrace your responsibility as your child’s parent and spend as much quality time as possible with them as they grow up and focus on living the brightest future possible.

If you are interested in learning more about how to build a parenting plan that works well for your children and their other parent, do not hesitate to contact our family law attorneys at Chambers Family Law, who understand addiction and recovery, to discuss the specific circumstances of your case. Reach us by phone or through our quick contact form to get started. We have offices located in Buckhead and Roswell.